Don’t squander a good personal referral when looking for a job

On August 22, 2022
Don’t squander a good personal referral when looking for a job

Question

My husband and I were both downsized. Each of us has a good personal referral to a “hot” networking contact to whom we plan to send e-mails along with our resumes, but what do we say? My old company retained a big outplacement firm to help me, and they provided some sample letters. In these, the job seeker named the mutual acquaintance who provided the referral’s name, gave background and accomplishments as bullet points, and then either asked for the names of organizations which might be hiring or, in the case where the employer was known to be hiring, for a meeting to discuss qualifications.

Is this an adequate format for an introductory note, or do we need to do more research on the target company’s problems and how we can add value? I have been intrigued by your approach to job hunting. However, I don’t know how to apply this approach to a networking contact. Please give us some suggestions for writing our networking letters.

Nick’s Reply

personal referralI’m not going to discuss what makes a company want to hire you. That’s something we address frequently in this column. You already have the idea: solve the company’s problems and challenges. But you can’t really do that with the person who might introduce you to your next employer. What I want to focus on is how not to squander a personal referral. If you follow the generic advice you’ve been given, you risk wasting that valuable contact. It’s like you’re burning money.

There is no cookie-cutter personal referral

Big outplacement firms have a business model. Their objective is not to help you land a good job. The goal is to sell multi-million dollar counseling contracts to big employers that are downsizing.

If your employer really wanted to help you, they’d arrange personal introductions to managers who need you. Outplacement firms don’t do that because it won’t win them a new gig. To win big contracts, these outplacement firms have to define a cookie-cutter process for handling thousands of newly unemployed people. (For example, Ford Motor Company is laying off 3,000 workers and will provide “significant help for the workers to find new jobs.”) And that’s what you’ve discovered in that sample cover letter. As you already realize, one size does not fit all.

Make a personal referral even more personal

The last thing you need is a canned approach to job hunting. You need to make it personal. And that takes time, careful thought and diligence. Every situation is unique, and these packaged methods you’ve been given aren’t likely to work well.

What will work? A customized approach that shows you are laser-focused on one job and one employer. Make a personal referral even more personal. Let me give you an example.

Establish your value

I wanted to meet the publisher of a big-name magazine. I needed a personal referral. So, first I sent a casual e-mail to one of his writers, with a carefully distilled, pithy comment about an article she wrote. I closed with an intelligent question that required her opinion about the subject. This resulted in several e-mails going back and forth between us in which I established my credibility.

I then asked her a smart question about something the publisher himself had written, and tied it to my own work. I did not reveal all the research I had done. It was implicit in the quality of my comments and question. I clearly knew what I was talking about, and I offered some thoughts that were valuable. That’s the real purpose of research: it enables you to add value, not to show off.

A few more exchanges, and she was confident that her boss would enjoy hearing from me (and she might score a few points with him). So she gave me his e-mail address and suggested I tell him about my ideas. (Please note: I never asked for the publisher’s address.)

Create a dialogue

I sent the publisher an e-mail. Subject=From Nick Corcodilos via [writer’s name]. He wrote back within an hour. We have corresponded a few times. I’ve given him information he can use in his work with no expectation of any return. I did not hint at what he might do for me. But he won’t be surprised if I pitch him an idea soon — or if I ask him for advice, for his business, or for other professional introductions. (That goes ditto for the writer!) The channel is open.

The sample networking letters you’ve been given are one-shot requests for help. By that I mean once you send the letter, the rest is up to the recipient, yet the only benefit is to you. Your polite request for job leads does not imply a dialogue. It’s one transaction.

But my e-mail to the publisher triggered a work-related dialogue that, right off the bat, offered potentially useful information to the recipient (and sort of put him in my debt). That publisher expects to talk shop with me again.

There is no canned note I could have sent him to accomplish that.

Make it a two-way street

It need not take long to cultivate this kind of contact. But such a valuable exchange cannot be stimulated with resumes or cover letters, which are asynchronous requests for a job. What I did is have a two-way, peer-to-peer exchange with the writer, and then with her boss. In both cases we talked about their work. People love to talk about their work. That’s where some of the very best offers to work together come from.

Stop thinking in terms of networking letters. Conventional networking is a selfish, one-sided practice that seeks a favor, a one-sided payout. The profit in the approach that I’ve described is in the two-way quality of communication, and in the pleasure of making a new friend. Everything else stems naturally from that, if anything happens at all.

Don’t squander a good personal referral

The truth is, a real job contact, a real personal referral, can arise from anywhere. You can go ahead and mail out those canned letters; one of them might pan out. But do you really want to squander a good contact because you didn’t cultivate it carefully, personally, and intelligently? Don’t burn money.

Before they turn to job postings and databases, managers hire people they know, like, and respect — even if they met only recently. Resumes and cover letters have absolutely nothing to do with engendering that kind of relationship. What I’ve described is how people make friends — and how you can cultivate a personal referral — in a professional context. Please try it.

If you have a “hot” networking contact, don’t waste it with a letter. Go talk shop, share your value, make a friend. Friends introduce friends to jobs.

How do you cultivate and use a personal referral to open doors and get you an audience with a hiring manager? Do you make it personal, or does that seem too awkward? Are there “magic words” you use? How does my approach differ from other “lead generation” methods you know of?

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Over-Worked: Boss is killing us softly

On July 13, 2020
Over-Worked: Boss is killing us softly

A reader who manages a shrinking team asks how much extra work the remaining workers can possibly do, in the July 14, 2020 Ask The Headhunter Newsletter.

Question

over-workedMy boss just laid off five members of the team I manage and directed that we pick up the slack. So we’ve each been doing multiple jobs. At first it seemed like a challenge and everybody got to it, but now it’s killing me and my team. We all want to prove we’re worth keeping in this grim economy, but we are working over 60 hours a week, some of us including Saturdays. Our “normal” was around 45 hours, maybe 50 when there was a crunch. I need minimum two new staff to stay on top of the work, plus new software and tools. I’m afraid some of my employees will get sick, and others will get fed up and quit (me included). There’s only so much people will take. What do you advise?

Nick’s Reply

“A man’s reach should exceed his grasp,” Robert Browning famously wrote. I don’t know whether he had met Elizabeth Barrett yet, or he might have said “peoples’ reach,” but you get the point.

We’re all capable of doing more, and challenges test us and often make us better. But Browning never suggested falling into the abyss by reaching too far.

There is no easy, certain or risk-free solution to your problem — especially as the job market spirals down as a result of the pandemic. But tolerating unreasonable work demands is no solution, either. It’s worth discussing options. I’m going to present one, and ask readers to propose others so we can talk about them.

Over-worked

Your boss seems motivated to find out what your limit is. A good boss who tests you will closely monitor your health and manage accordingly. A lousy boss will keep piling on the work and kill you softly and slowly. You should ask yourselves what kind of boss you have.

More important to me is how you manage your boss. My advice is to tell your boss the truth. I know that’s risky, but part of your job as a manager is to speak up. You’re expected to get the work done, but keeping your own team members healthy is also your job. As you note, losing more of your team because they are over-worked is another risk — to the company.

Over-worked and candid

Insecurity can lead an employee — including a manager like you — to interpret unreasonable demands to work longer and harder as a threat: “Do or die!” An insecure manager won’t dare to confront the boss candidly for fear of getting fired. Does your boss want to hear the truth from you? Or does your boss not care? Getting the answer requires a frank conversation. Then you need to present your boss with a realistic and honest choice.

One approach is to say yes to your boss’s extreme expectations, and to qualify it with “but…” Yes, but.

How to say it
“I’d like to give you an update on our productivity. Since the layoff, the new requirement for the smaller team is to add A and B to our deliverables without increasing company headcount. I’ve outlined a plan. Please have a look. As you can see, YES, we can deliver A and B. BUT, to deliver one or the other, we need to transfer one more company employee to our team. To deliver both A and B, we need to transfer two more employees to our team, and we need some new tools. In either case, we can keep up this level of performance for about six months. Then, as you can see in my projections, the stress on the system and my team will adversely affect product quality and delivery schedules. I know this is not what you’d like to hear — it would be great if we could do A and B with current resources, but it puts the rest of our operation at risk. Can we discuss the trade-offs, what is the best choice, and what is a realistic business plan and delivery schedule?” (A related approach works when negotiating salary.)

Of course, you will have to think through your own plan in your circumstances. But this is part of your job. The company is trying to do more with less, when what it needs to do is decide what its priorities are and choose what has to go.

Risk my job?

I know some will suggest that, in the current economy and job market, no one can afford to risk their job by questioning increased work loads or unreasonable employer demands. Everyone must set their own tolerance level. But everyone has a breaking point. It’s important to know in advance where you’ll draw the line.

The cost of consent

If you avoid the discussion with your boss, and are fearful of appearing uncooperative or even incapable, you’re likely to dig the hole even deeper. When you’re already over-worked, quiet compliance just makes the boss think you can do even more. So the weight on your back will likely be increased. There is no good outcome for you. That’s poor management and poor business.

Where I’ve seen this happen in particular, even in good economies, is with managers who are insecure because they lack a college degree, or they are insecure about their skills and judgment. (See impostor syndrome.) They consent to staggering workloads to avoid appearing somehow unqualified, or to avoid calling attention to themselves. All of them almost invariably burn out or take it so far that they get fired.

Yes, BUT

It’s your job to do the best you can so your company will succeed, and sometimes that means working harder and longer in a crunch. But don’t make it your goal to prove you can do whatever is demanded, that you can figure anything out, and that you can be counted on no matter what. That’s the path to catastrophe because you will lose your job soon anyway — perhaps after you become very sick. The only outcome is doom.

Our reach should exceed our grasp, but not kill us. Never over-promise just to “prove” yourself. Part of what you’re paid for is to tell your boss the truth, even if it’s bad news, as long as your assessment includes proposing rational, prudent choices to protect the business and the employees that make it successful. Don’t say “Can do!” to what can’t be reasonably done. Say YES, BUT — and outline the options and their costs. Otherwise, you’ll either go out on unemployment, or get carried out on a stretcher.

There is no easy answer to this problem. So let’s talk about the hard but honest answers. When the chips are down and your company asks the world of you, how much should you deliver, and under what kind of deal? How would you explain it to your boss? Would you even try? What risks would you face? Are there any benefits?

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Should I take a 30% pay cut to keep my job?

On September 19, 2016

In the September 20, 2016 Ask The Headhunter Newsletter, a reader doesn’t see a pay cut as a good deal.

pay cutQuestion

Yesterday my company, which is experiencing cash flow difficulties, asked me to take a 30% salary cut to keep doing the same job and still at full time. Do you have any tips on how to respond? I feel like I’ve been bushwhacked.

Nick’s Reply

The obvious answer is to tell them to shove it and quit.

But if that were your first choice, you wouldn’t be asking for tips. There are several ways you could respond, so let’s consider some of the issues before I offer some suggestions you could tweak to suit your needs.

Let me ask a key question:

Did they give you any indication or evidence that they expect to return your salary to normal again? When?

If they’ve communicated nothing about that, it’s a bad sign. If they’ve made promises, ask for it in writing. How they respond will tell you all you need to know about the company’s viability. Good management is honest with employees and makes and keeps commitments. A company that leaves you in the dark about what’s really happening is in more trouble than it seems. Don’t ignore signals about this.

You need to decide how much you need that cash flow yourself. That will dictate what you should do next: wait it out or move on immediately?

Another question:

Is there anything you can say or do that would bring your salary back up?

In other words, if you decline the cut, would they keep you on at your regular salary? I doubt it. So the choice is, do you accept the new terms while you look for a better job (without disclosing that’s what you’re doing), or do you quit and focus all your time on a new job?

Only you can answer that.

Negotiate a pay cut

This might work if your employer is likely to recover financially: Ask if they’d leave your salary at 100% on the books, pay you 30% less, and issue a promissory note for the balance. That is, an IOU. Then you might have standing to collect when they go bankrupt and a judge has to decide whose debts get paid first by the court.

Or, play tit for tat: Take the pay cut if they’ll take a work cut. Offer to work 30% fewer hours. Always be aware that opening a negotiation can result in the other guy withdrawing the deal entirely. That is, they might just tell you to leave now. But you could just leave now, too.

Fall back on this

Now I’ll give you my second best advice. Talk with a good employment attorney before you answer about the 30% cut. I know an attorney will cost you a few bucks, but consider how much that pay cut will cost you over the next one or two months. An hour with an attorney will probably seem like a good investment if your goal is to work out terms.

If you’re pretty sure the pay cut will turn into a layoff, start preparing now. Here are a few other issues to consider, from my PDF book, Parting Company: How to leave your job:

Should you volunteer to get laid off?

You might be able to get a severance package that costs the company even less than keeping you on at a 30% pay cut — if you volunteer to leave. (See pp. 26-27.)

Should you tell your boss you’re leaving?

Are you going to start a job search? Your boss probably wouldn’t be surprised — but I advise you not to disclose what you’re doing. If you’re going to rely on whatever meager salary they’re going to keep paying you, don’t risk it by appearing disloyal because you’re looking for a new job. (See pp. 38-39.)

If you’re ready to quit, see How should I quit this job? If you’re not going to read the book, at least read the article Parting Company: How to leave your job.

Stand up to downsizing

Are you pretty certain the company is going to fire you soon? From the book:

“Be smart. If you’re caught in a downsizing, don’t let yourself be pulled under by the current of panic. Everyone grabs the same life preservers: the job postings, the resumes, the cover letters and the random interviews. By that point, the channels of the employment system are clogged with so much competition that surviving the trip is debilitating, if not impossible.” (See pp. 23-25.)

In other words, don’t be the last one out the door pursuing the same jobs as your laid off co-workers!

Prepare and plan for the worst. When employers ask their employees for money — make no mistake, that’s exactly what this is — it’s a bad sign.

The only thing that would make me feel better is if your employer puts some skin in the game, too, in one of the ways I suggest above. But here’s my best advice: Immediately start a job search and get ready to move on — but be careful. (See How your old boss can cost you a new job.)

I wish you the best with this, but I doubt it’s going to work out well.

Did you ever take a pay cut to keep your job? How did it turn out? What would you advise this reader to do?

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