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Is this the worst job ad ever?

In the August 18, 2015 Ask The Headhunter Newsletter, a reader almost blows it.

Question

A friend of mine is seeking a job as an Event Planner. He did this for IBM for several years. He came upon this job description for an Event Manager — if it is indeed a real job! Check out the “Required Experience” at the end. I’m sure that anyone with that much experience would just jump right into this “purple squirrel” job. What do you think of the “fun” wording that says — between the lines — that one person will be doing the work of three?

Nick’s Reply

Wow. File that under Stuff We Couldn’t Make Up If We Tried. I’m still laffing my A off. I’d love to meet the “passionate” HR wonk that wrote this job description. Of course, it might have been the hiring manager.

[Note: The link above is to a copy of the job posting. The direct URL, which is active at time of this publication, is http://www.indeed.com/cmp/Belgian–American-Chamber-of-Commerce/jobs/Event-Manager-516d0a935ce3bbed.]

over-workedI hate to hold up even the most naïve employer to ridicule… but this is publicly posted on Indeed. Why is this worth talking about? Because employers claim there’s a talent shortage — while they demand decades worth of expertise in a tone that suggests you must sell yourself out to get the job. Since this job has been on Indeed for over a month, I imagine the employer feels it’s hard to find the purple squirrel it’s looking for. (See Roasting the job description.)

But as you point out, the dead giveaway is the closing line on the job posting. How much experience is required to do this “President of Planning” job? One year.

I’m guessing the only thing that’s “one year” about this job is the salary level. (If it’s higher, why not mention the salary range?) But I don’t know the employer and have not contacted it. Like any job seeker, all I know is what’s in that job ad — and that’s the basis on which I judge it.

The trouble with job ads like this — and we’ve all seen enough of them — is that they reveal an employer’s misguided attempt to fill a complex job on a junior salary. (See How to avoid a “bait and switch” job offer.)

They reveal an employer that thinks new hires must “say NEIN to leaving at 5,” and that suggests it’s cool to be the kind of manager who can “persuade volunteers to miss their own wedding.”

The right candidate will have “triple check OCD” and can “single-handedly beat the Red Sox.”

And how about the new standard of motivation the right candidate must demonstrate? “The way you spread your entrepreneurial spirit puts Ebola to shame.”

Is all this cute? It’s so cute that it’s transparent. Beneath the veneer of this job ad is a cynical message that this job may be on a slave ship. Or, what’s the salary for a President of Planning who’s got one year of experience? Some of our over-50 readers might suggest this employer is softening up a very senior, very skilled Events Manager for low pay and lots of abuse. Just how desperate are you for a job?

But that’s not why this is the worst job ad ever. It’s the worst job ad ever because it shrouds cynicism in cool. It markets hard work as something you should be willing to sell yourself out for. And that is why job seekers — from the youngest and most inexperienced to the oldest and most frustrated — are fed up with the behavior of employers that want something for nothing while complaining the right talent isn’t out there.

If employers like this one chafe at criticism, I’d like to see them address the job seekers they really need with candor and respect.

Perhaps this job pays $150,000. What’s your take? Have you seen better examples of the worst job ads? Please share examples and your comments!

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49 Comments
  1. A couple of years ago, a recruiter contacted me about an RF engineer position with Microsoft. We went over the job description and submitted my resume.

    About a week later, the recruiter called me again, saying the hiring manager had asked why someone like me, well-qualified with many years experience, would want an entry-level position.

    I pointed back to the job description, which had specifically list “5 years RF experience” as a requirement, as well as many other qualifications.

    This is the new paradigm, 5 years experience is “entry-level”.

    And this is from a major corporation! And the recruiter didn’t catch it. I just don’t know what these people are thinking.

  2. 5-8 years is entry level now. Age 28 would be the age ceiling for such a position.

    What’s more insidious is that experience and education has to include the exact keywords of the job ad necessary for the HR departments and recruiters to acknowledge current and past jobs as qualifying experience. (HR/recruiters are no more intelligent than the ATS/ systems, in that neither understand the industries.)

    15 year experience “mid level” positions have an age ceiling of age 35-40, with equally stringent keyword matching requirements.

    Over 40 = unemployable.

    Salaries = anywhere from 50% to 70% of market rate, with 60 -70 hour weeks paid at 40 hour rates (thus lowering effective wages even lower)

    Also, little usable time off.

    All this is to get a real job. Everyone else fights over consulting arrangements with mediocre pay and terms.

    This is the new economy.

  3. I read a job description that had three jobs rolled into one: sales manager, project manager, and operations manager.

    The description was three pages long! I wonder if they found their purple squirrel.

  4. In sum: Out do the energizer bunny, (including making your own drum), and herd cats. It sounds like the person will work in a totally disorganized environment populated by totally disorganized people whose work you’ll have to do for them so something organized happens.

  5. How much time have you got? Because I could share loads of stupid job ads…

    The Princeton Review posted this one that asked for “just the right amount of sparkly” and “swagger.”
    http://nojobtoday.tumblr.com/private/image/126992519754/tumblr_nta4txpj2R1txzgj3

    I wondered how exactly you measure “just the right amount” and how you demonstrate swagger on the ATS.

    And here was a good one at MIT Lincoln Lab with 50+ bullets, note the demand to provide free design work as part of your application under bullet #9 (“Provide a one-chart rendition of the hypothetical scenario in PowerPoint”)…

    http://www.indeed.com/job/Embedded-Graphic-Designer-or-Technical-Artist-at-Digital-Prospectors-in-Lexington,-MA-d8aab4096b81e394

  6. I see ads like this too much now on job boards. They will never find their purple squirrel at an entry level salary.

    The job basically is stating: you will work over 60 hours a week for less than the minimum wage per hour, you will not have a personal relationship of any kind outside of working hours, you must be available at all hours, even weekends and reply immediately, as we don’t give you a corporate phone to do your job you must use your own cellphone which must have the highest data plan available. Etc. etc.

    @Carl I agree this is our economy and it is only going to get worse if we put up with these types of employers. Profit continues to go up for companies but salaries are not competitive.

  7. I’m with Don. Wow, what a total con this posting is. It sounds like an old snake oil salesman trying to be cool. Wouldn’t surprise me if the company were a farm stand in Iowa looking to promote its square dance.

  8. What surprised me most, along with what everyone else said, is that any organisation associated with Belgium would write such an ad, even a US-based one. I have lived and worked in three European countries in the past 20 years, am now in a neighboring country. Belgians, while great people and fun in their own right, are generally pretty conservative, straight-forward and no-nonsense.

    Not that I read job ads from Belgium recently, but the last time I did, they didn’t flabbergast me. Sure, European companies also want the super über candidate, but they don’t resort to sophomoric antics in their ads. In fact, the reference to your FB and Instagram accounts could possibly be construed as age discrimination in Europe, considering their prominent usage amongst the under-30 set.

    Besides, anyone who actually knows that Belgium is indeed in Europe, knows that they have two languages, and who can read the French text, and, if I read the last requirement correctly, can standard/ballroom dance (not unusual for Belgians), this person would be turned off by the ad and not even apply. Mon dieu! That is not a serious company for a serious candidate.

    I do know that some of the Chambers do take in young people, work them hard, but these are generally serious, smart people with an academic background who want a career in international relations, trade and policy. They use these jobs as stepping stones and networking for bigger jobs. Good luck to BelCham.

  9. @Cari nailed it. I see and hear more and more stories like this.

    I personally know of seasoned, talented dedicated group of people working for a state-managed organization. They are bullied into working dozens of extra hours unpaid overtime including Saturdays and Sundays to complete their work by imposed deadlines, all this for less than $28K/year.
    If they comply and don’t protest, only one of the group might get a cheap plastic trophy in about nine months.

    It is a sad state of affairs. There is even a new TV commercial for an automobile that reflects this issue…http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7UL6/hyundai-tucson-busy

    I have never really understood unions, but I now clearly see their purpose.

  10. I’m tempted to fabricate a resume that will get me an interview, go on the interview and ask what their compensation package and wage parameters are.

  11. It should have been posted in “The Onion.”

  12. @dlms: Employers used to package multiple jobs in one ad to save on the cost of classified advertising. One ad=many kinds of applicants. But it’s hard to understand why any employer today would post aggregate ads when ads are essentially free. Go figure.

    @ARA: It’s possible that BelCham outsourced the advertising to… a hip copyrighter. (Hip? I must be old.)

  13. Here’s one I just found, scroll down to read the dumb questions at the bottom…
    http://curaspanhealthgroup.applytojob.com/apply/ELrivs/Graphic-Designer.html?source=LINK

    Call me old-fashioned but I thought this sort of stuff was what you discussed on an INTERVIEW —

    -With the job market as competitive as it is, how did we get lucky enough to receive your application?

    -At Curaspan, we think we’re awesome. Describe a time that you worked with an awesome team, and tell us what made that team so awesome.

    -When you start your day at work, what are the top 3 – 5 things that make it on your “to do” list?

    -Kindle, iPad, Nook or Library? And, why?

    -In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique. Try to be creative and say something that will catch our eye!

    (I need to walk away from this discussion now as my blood pressure is getting dangerously high…)

  14. I love these goofy job ads mostly because they are a window into the insane thought processes pervading senior management at those companies. HR doesn’t write and post such drivel without support and approval from the top.
    A few years ago there was an article in a trade magazine about the talent shortage and how it related to the cry for H1B visas from the big electronics companies. The article was written by an engineer and titled “Why are there no $25,000 Ferraris?”
    The analogy was that companies were posting jobs with very high level qualifications at entry level salaries then wondering why no one applied. Must be a talent shortage so we need more H1B visas so we can fill these jobs.
    The author stated that the whole thing was equivalent to entering a Ferrari dealership with $25K in your pocket and expecting to leave with one of these cars. It just wasn’t going to happen.
    Perhaps the managers who expect to fill these positions at such low salaries should be compensated similarly?

  15. Why is this okay?

    I can imagine the Millennial (I am a Millennial, too, by the way) typing this job description with such a wide smile as if they are writing literary gold and should be awarded a SHRM award for thier expertise blooming instantaneously. (…Sorry, I tried to match said writing style)

    I work in HR and you’d think coupling that with the fact I’m a Millennial would have me backing this crap, but call me old fashioned when I tend to write semi-boring (but blunt and clearly outlined) descriptions with bulleted lists of duties/qualifications. I can’t stand sitting in traffic so why would I want to sit on a page trying to weave around the useless, in-the-way jargon if I was the job-seeker?

    I CAN’T STAND THIS FROO-FROO, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, EXCITED PEP-RALLY CHEERLEADER VOMIT. I see these types of ads in ANY industry and it speaks negative volumes about the company. These ads are like when we see ‘Market Price’ on seafood menus: NEXT!

    Please refuse to apply. Send a message.

    • Kster, I think I love you. If I had a child, I’d want him/her to be just like you! LOL!

      I’m a Gen Xer, and I could not have expressed my disgust better than you just did!

      I have been looking for a job for over a year now with no luck, because of this BS! Hell, you can’t even APPLY for jobs in any straightforward manner these days! I can’t tell you HOW many job ads I’ve just skipped over. I’m applying for fewer jobs than I might otherwise, and of course, I’m not hearing back.

      This is criminal!

  16. Nick,

    This is the first time I disagree with you.

    I thought this ad was funny… funny in a smiley, good way. Of course the ad is over the top but it made me smile and laugh. If I was a young, smart, savvy person who loves to coordinate, direct and produce fabulous events I would definitely apply.

    I “see” the person they want to hire (they will have to pay very well for it… true. The position sounds like a mile-a-minute… but what’s wrong with that?). Honestly, they want someone who WANTS to devote a good deal of their time to their company’s events to make them run smoothly. They want someone “early” in their career to wants to “make their mark.”

    I would guess that the right candidate would be someone quite young and energetic who has a bit of experience but really has the chops and desire to do the job. They should be looking for someone a year or two out of college who doesn’t yet, have a lot of family responsibilities but is a true producer and is willing to cheerfully work their ass off for results.

    I knew lots of kids like this in high school and college and just after college. They were great producers. They made things happen. People followed them. In college they ran major events and even had big budgets to manage – yet they were undergraduates.

    From the tone of the ad I can tell that the company wants to find a very young “ready to WOW the world individual.” The tone of the ad is to attract that young person to apply.

    Ok.. The ebola reference was rude but maybe this is “funny” to people 30 years younger.

    I was not offended by this ad.

  17. One more reason to despise the original job posting:

    any female candidate who is capable of doing all this will not put up with being called a “girl”.

  18. @sighmaster: That’s awesome. Just awesome. Did I say it’s awesome? Do try not to explode, okay? ;-)

    @John Zabrenski: There are lots of employers driving 4-cylinder jalopies 95mph into the wall, while dreaming of Ferraris. It’s happening every day.

    @K-Ster: Thanks for not bidding $25,000 for a Ferrari, and for knowing the diff between a car and a roller skate dressed out in bling.

    @Sue:
    “The tone of the ad is to attract that young person to apply.”
    “From the tone of the ad I can tell that the company wants to find a very young “ready to WOW the world individual.””
    “I would guess that the right candidate would be someone quite young and energetic”

    You need not say more.

    @Susannah: You clearly don’t recognize high-quality ad copy intended to appeal to the right kind of candidate who has an open mind and is willing to make the coffee, serve the cookies and give haircuts to the executive team. GRRRRLLLLL!

  19. As a seasoned digital marketer in the tech field, I’ve seen so many outrageous job recs that I barely bat an eye anymore. It’s not uncommon to list 20-30 different responsibilities, and require 5+ years of experience, AND expert-level knowledge to be granted the “privilege” of a phone interview. And if you manage to secure the gig, work-life balance is nonexistent. I’ve had employers ask me why I’m not online and working at 11 PM on weekdays. Um… because I’m asleep? How do employers expect us to be productive if we can’t take care of ourselves and our personal lives?

    I mean, look at Amazon. They’ve created a 50,000-plus strong workforce whose entire MO is “Please sir, may I have another?” Orwell’s rolling in his grave, but Ayn Rand is throwing a dance party in hers.

  20. The first example I saw of this was back ~2000, for a Webmaster with 10 years of Java experience. (Java was introduced in 1995.)
    ‘Must own personal Time Machine.’

  21. OMG, LOL — In the autumn of 1993, I was learning “Pro/ENGINEER” (mechanical-engineering CAD software). I’ll never forget the instructor making fun of help-wanted advertisements where one of the requirements was 10 years of Pro/E experience. The first copy of Pro/E shipped in 1988; I’ll let you do the math.

  22. @Carl, you said something that caught my attention.
    “15 year experience “mid level” positions have an age ceiling of age 35-40, with equally stringent keyword matching requirements.
    Over 40 = unemployable.”

    Overall I agree with this. Well, I don’t *agree* of course!

    But what I’d like to know is, who exactly decided these abominable Double Secret Probation criterion are okay? Was it the 100th monkey? and to what good did someone say, “Hey Jeff, That’s a helluva idea! Let’s destroy the careers of millions of people and ultimately our own companies as well. Boy howdy you are so getting promoted!”

    I guess what I’d like to know is *how* did this find it’s way into the market?

  23. @Sara, we all have our own theories on “what went wrong,” I lay the blame on some snot-faced kid named Mark “Younger people are just smarter” Zuckerberg. Ever since he showed up with that dumb site that’s all you see is everyone wanting to be the one to “strike it rich” and “find the next Zuckerberg!” Of course, if you’re over the age of 30 there’s no chance of you being “the next Zuckerberg,” right? The phenomenon may have started in Silicon Valley, but with every tech hub in America wanting to emulate SV, well, here we are.
    http://anewdomain.net/2014/12/11/dont-hire-anyone-30-ageism-silicon-valley/

    (I hear he’s expecting a kid, I wonder if he’ll tell that kid when they turn 30 that they’re no longer smart…?)

  24. I see the ad as over-the-top and the result of someone trying to write a funny ad. (We want an expert on Belgium who understands the subtle meanings of a French phrase; or alternatively can find Belgium on a map give the hint that it is in Europe.) It does convey that the meeting budget is low, you will need to recruit volunteers, fill in roles such as bartender that they can’t afford to hire, and that many meeting will be in the evening. If I were employed at some events company with 1-2 years experience, I’ve probably apply, to see what the real story is (and what pay they are talking about).

  25. @Sara: “I guess what I’d like to know is *how* did this find it’s way into the market?”

    Over-paid “HR Consultancies” manned by retired HR executives selling over-priced B.S. to their sucker compadres under the cloak of “best practices.”

    There’s an entire industry that inept HR execs rely on for such claptrap.

  26. Same old, same old. When I graduated from college in 1972 we joked that employers wanted new employees to be 22 yrs old with 30 years of experience. The same crazy-making has been passed on to the present day, apparently.

  27. I agree with Sue, I think it’s a funny ad. The statement that only one year experience is required already clearly tells that they’re not expecting to find a seasoned professional in the field.

    A young person who wants a reasonable freedom to realize his/her creative ideas and develop his/her skills while doing it, might well like this job. It involves being in touch with influential people, one of which could be the key contact to the next jump in his/her career.

    I’ve done some similar tasks for non-profit organizations for free (only part time, on the side of my normal paid job), and that was one of the best ways to meet interesting people.

  28. Sorry to digress from the subjects slightly. As a Belgian citizen I am not too pleased that my country is associated (vaguely) with this job ad.

    I agree with @ARA, we Belgians are pretty conservative, straight-forward and no-nonsense. In my country this ad would not do and BelCham should now that, because it’s their job to know our business culture. Wrong tone, wrong message, wrong mindset, not inline with what I would think to be the desired branding for an organisation like BelCham.

    If an ad like this were published in Belgium most likely the writer would have to have a chat with their boss and possibly they would hear the word “godverdomme!” a lot of times.

  29. I thought the ad was funny, but in a sad, pathetic sort of way. The ad should really read: “We’re looking for someone young who will work all day, all night, weekends, holidays, do anything and everything for low pay (I’m assuming it is a low pay job), no benefits, and don’t expect any help, guidance, mentoring, or training. We don’t care, and we’ll work you until you break, then throw you out and get another one.”

    Unfortunately, these kinds of ads are not limited to this field, nor to tech. The recent NY Times story about what it is like to work at Amazon: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/technology/inside-amazon-wrestling-big-ideas-in-a-bruising-workplace.html?_r=0 depicts an equally brutal workplace environment. Devote your whole life to the company, and if you get sick, then you’re forced out.

    A few years ago I saw an ad for a part time job at a college library. The list of specs was ridiculous–minimum of a master’s degree (MLS or MILS) AND subject matter specialization in the full range of majors offered by the college (art history to engineering to biology to sociology to history to Spanish to accounting to nursing….), 5-8 years of full time professional experience for a salary of less than $10.00 per hour (most libraries pay their non-professional library staff more than that) and no benefits. The hours were nights and weekends. I remember reading it and thinking “good luck”. Pay more, offer benefits, and be reasonable in the required (all of the specs were listed under the “required” category–there were more if you included the “preferred qualifications” category–reading knowledge in at least three foreign languages, computer and tech skills, etc.) specs would have made a huge difference in whether they found someone to fill the job or not.

  30. True, the ad was funny Onion-funny, but the reality isn’t. I agree with Carl’s dismal outlook of the current job market, but this kind of crap job is not new. Twenty years ago, I watched my dear 26 year old roommate line up with the rest of the lemmings to be copied to bits for cool ad agency jobs. Sick and sad.

  31. Or “chopped” really, not copied to bits.

  32. @Nick: Over-paid “HR Consultancies” manned by retired HR executives selling over-priced B.S. to their sucker compadres under the cloak of “best practices.”

    So I could just as easily interview in torn jeans and goth makeup with a greasy ponytail stuffed up a Yankees cap and have an equal chance at getting a job? I smell a Sara Experiment…

    Hey anyone interested in starting an over-paid HR Consultancy?

  33. @Nick, I can’t breathe. THIS was sent to me in response to a cover letter.

    “Miss Sara,
    Then (sic) whole point of the interview is that we have decided we want to see the content of that “brief presentation.” Unfortunately, you don’t get to inform us that we have to see it. (I Didn’t!!!) It is in very poor taste to contact the president of a company directly demanding (OMG is she SERIOUS??)
    she put together a pre-package for an interview we have not offered you. Obviously, we will not be considering you for this position.

    Good luck with your job search.”

    written by the daughter of the owner of a countertop design firm.

  34. @Sara: Morons abound.

  35. Job ads with unrealistic skills requirements simply encourage people to fabricate bogus resumes. One could argue there’s nothing wrong with this, because the employers are lying too. Such job ads, at least in the IT world, are aimed at Americans–NOT the foreigners who’ll be brought in instead. For the foreigners the jobs are split 3-4 ways as they should have been in the first place. The Indians and what-not sport resumes that could qualify for the Pulitzer prize in literary fiction. Employers are well aware of this yet don’t care. I think employers want and expect to be lied to, and will consider one a fool if one doesn’t, just as it is with the banking/mortgage industry I worked in.

    The whole industry is just a big ball of incompetence and lies. The employment world should be played for the game that it is.

  36. @Sara, you should reply by telling her that obviously you, nor anyone you know, will ever consider their design services. Make sure you “cc” mom and dad.

    Seriously, someone owes you an apology so I’ll step up. I’m sorry that happened to you, it was abusive and wrong. But better that you find out now and not six months into the job, can you imagine actually working for that company? Yikes!

    The same kind of thing happened to me, a woman called to castigate me for applying when I was so “obviously unqualified” – I actually had years of relevant experience but I guess she didn’t read that far down my resume even though I followed the “best practice” advice and kept it to one page and used an eighth grade reading level. I don’t know, maybe it was my fault, I should have used cartoon illustrations of me working on spreadsheets – see how qualified I look! But apparently the only thing HR folks see on a resume are the typos.

    I asked to speak with her manager, I told her they needed to be clued in on how she treats candidates; no one has every hung up on me that quickly.

  37. There is too much angst in the ad for me to think it was written by someone outside of the company.

    It could be shortened to “Wanted: Gonzo Bozo to join a team of deluded idiots who would rather make jokes than face the reality that there is something seriously wrong with their enterprise.”

    When a perspective employer gives off the vibe that “Sometimes all you can do is laugh” Run! It’s too late for them but save yourself!

  38. Why is there anything at all wrong or bad about this kind of job ad if it is effective at attracting the desired kind of candidates?

    Of course they won’t get anyone who meets all of the criteria, but that’s not the point. The point is to simply get the best candidates they can reasonably afford.

    I think the naysayers on this style of job ad are coming off as more cynical than the ad’s author.

  39. @Justin
    Because its difficult, if not impossible to determine from the ad who ANY candidates would be, let alone the right ones.

  40. sighmaster,

    Curaspan is in Boston. I live in the Boston area & its gotten to the point that I read Boston job postings for the entertainment value. There are too many job descriptions in the Boston area that read like Curaspan’s listing.

    Its not unusual to see job postings in the area continuously posted for 2 years at a time.

  41. @Bob, I know, this place is decrepit, I’m trying to get as far away as I can (made it to RI at the moment).

    I’ve seen that dumb “In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique” box more times than I can count. One time I finally lost it and said “I have little tolerance for stupidity, a good example of which is this box.”

  42. Today I got an email from some dumb recruitment agency for a job saying if I’m a good fit send my resume asap. Here’s part of the job description:

    “***Ringer candidate is an ‘NUT’ — ie. Obsessive compulsive about attention to detail, very particular, attention to detail”

    I replied that I find the wording of this job description slightly offensive — I am not a “nut” or “obsessive compulsive.” I pointed out my 17 years of experience and offered a link to some of my relevant artwork, saying if they think their client might be interested let me know and I’ll forward my resume.

    Never got a response. :)

  43. sighmaster,

    Here are a couple company descriptions to look at. I wonder how anyone gets work done:

    http://venturefizz.com/blog/working-boston-tech-kayak
    http://venturefizz.com/blog/ezcater-technologists-are-flying-rocket-ship-billion-dollar-mark

    Kayak has been looking for certain openings for over 2 years.
    ezCater… Someone should explain to them that the top 5 percent of candidates are already taken.

  44. [ Here’s another example of job descriptions you see in Boston. Forgive me for including the description directly, I can’t find a link to it. You can have this headache today, the job is still open. Most of you have visited one of this company’s retail stores. ]

    Lead iOS Developer:

    Candidates need to possess native iOS, native Android and hybrid mobile development experience with technical knowledge of software such as: HTML5, JavaScript, JS UI libraries/frameworks (e.g., Angular JS, NodeJS, JQuery Mobile, Sencha) and CSS3 skills. Candidates should be experienced with tools and process involved during a mobile delivery life-cycle covering user experience design, client and server side design/frameworks, integration patterns, security, analytics, DevOps, TDD, and application packaging & delivery.

    We are looking for a technical leader, who is passionate about providing the best solution to meet the clients’ needs and anticipate their future needs, based on a deep understanding of the business, product & competition.

    Someone who has strong object-oriented design skills and a track record of delivering designs to market, a solid understanding of the Agile Method of delivery, along with experience in rapid prototyping, and the ability to quickly go from mockups to implementation.

    Individual who has a track record of delivering IT solutions in a changing environment with a distributed workforce; prefer experience with both large and small companies.

    Individual with ability to apply statistical and other research methods to systems issues and products as required.

    Excellent written and verbal communication skills, including the ability to speak and write clearly, precisely and in a highly focused manner, and to present persuasively and professionally in front of a group of senior managers.

    Skilled and experienced at reaching out across the organization and communicating with people at different levels, with diverse needs and agendas (including company technical and non-technical management, other architects, analysts).

    Strong analytical, problem solving and project management skills.
    Experience with CI (Continuous Integration), ideally with the Atlassian Suite of tools (Bamboo/Stash).

    Responsibilities include the following:

    Articulating technical concepts in a customer friendly and understandable way.

    Leading development efforts for mobile projects.

    Creating and contributing to mobile industry “Points of View”, best practices, guidelines/templates, assets and industry positioning.

    Training of mobile team in a formal way as well as through the sharing of expertise.

    Experience and a proven understanding of the mobile lifecycle: application development (application structure, device and operating system Application Programming Interfaces (API’s), debugging, performance, security) and deployment

    Required
    · Bachelor’s Degree

    · At least 3 years’ experience in providing technical leadership on mobile application development projects, which includes leading a team of developers.

    · At least 3 years’ experience in defining client needs and providing technical expertise in defining design, approach and tools to develop mobile applications that solve their business needs.

    · At least 3 years’ experience in estimating development effort required to complete project on time and within budget.

    · At least 3 years’ experience in developing mobile applications for one or more of the following: iOS, Android, mobile responsive design or Mobile hybrid applications.

    · At least 3 years’ experience in and a proven understanding of the mobile lifecycle: application development (application structure, device and operating system API’s, debugging, performance, security) and deployment.

    · At least 3years experience in using one of more of the following: Asynchronous JavaScript and XML (Ajax), Representational State Transfer (REST), JavaScript Object Notation (JSON).

    · English: Fluent

    Preferred

    · Master’s Degree

    · At least 5 years’ experience in providing technical leadership on mobile application development projects, which includes leading a team of developers.

    · At least 5 years’ experience in defining client needs and providing technical expertise in defining design, approach and tools to develop mobile applications that solve their business needs.

    · At least 5 years’ experience in estimating development effort required to complete project on time and within budget.

    · At least 5 years’ experience in developing mobile applications for one or more of the following: iOS, Android, Java development.

    · At least 5 years’ experience in and a proven understanding of the mobile lifecycle: application development (application structure, device and operating system API’s, debugging, performance, security) and deployment.

    · At least 5 years’ experience in using one of more of the following: Asynchronous JavaScript and XML (Ajax), Representational State Transfer (REST), JavaScript Object Notation (JSON).

  45. Bob, I’d wager that job isn’t even real (or is meant for an H1B applicant, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCbFEgFajGU). Maybe we should create a forum where we can post and make fun of pathetic Boston job descriptions…

  46. In the tech world laundry list ads like the one above are par for the course. Especially when two or three basically unrelated jobs have been mashed together. Even a lifetime of experience would be insufficient to acquire all the skills for some of them.

  47. I just ran into another ad for a tech position with the “How are we so lucky?” question. I’m guessing this is a kind of behavioral question designed to weed out those who find this sort of thing offensive. Is that an age thing? Maybe. But it looks like it is the work of JAZZ HR software, a service for HR people to help them write ads for jobs. But if you want to apply for the job anyway, answer this with how/why you are so fabulous, i.e. I’m qualified, a self-starter whatever they want to hear.

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