Resign Yourself To Resigning Right By Nick Corcodilos

Part 1

Lots of people are getting new jobs this year. With each of these job changes comes a very difficult chore: resigning from the old job. Tendering a resignation and doing it properly is an onerous task. It is awkward to resign, and some people just don't know how to do it properly. But some folks are so clever about it that they outsmart themselves.

Before discussing how to resign, let's look at a couple of examples of how not to do it. First, a horror story about what can happen when an opportunist tries to use his resignation as a threat.

The Extortionist
Ramesh was an engineer who had no intention of resigning his job and who, it turned out, didn't need to bother.

When I first recruited him, this engineer was gushing with motivation. "I need more challenge!" he said. My client made him a very good offer. Ramesh wanted two weeks to think about it. After killing time by repeatedly asking for "more information" from my client, on the fourteenth day Ramesh called me.

"I wouldn't be able to start for four weeks, but I'm not accepting the offer just yet. I'll call you back."

At that point, I wrote Ramesh off — he was playing games. My guess turned out to be right. He was getting up the courage to go dangle the job offer in front of his current boss. However, I hadn't guessed the outcome. When he called again all I could do was smile.

"How about I start tomorrow? I must start tomorrow. Can you arrange that?"

"Why the rush?" I asked, mentally closing the file with a smile.

"I asked my boss for a counteroffer and you know what he did? He walked me to the door! I can't even go back to my desk. My wife is in a panic! Can you please get them to let me start tomorrow?"

That's the most painful kind of resignation of all: one that's -- forgive me -- engineered to fail, but doesn't. Ramesh's feigned resignation turned around and bit him.

What's the lesson in this story? Tender your resignation without ulterior motive. Resign because you really want the new job. If your company makes a good counteroffer and gives you good reasons to stay, great. But, it's still a mixed blessing, because now you have to deal with the awkward task of turning down an offer you pursued.

Don't use your resignation as a threat to help you negotiate a better deal with your current employer. Any good headhunter will tell you that the "raise" an opportunist extorts as part of a counteroffer is likely to be an advance against his next raise. If the company doesn't get rid of him as soon as it finds a suitable and more motivated replacement, that is.

The Helpless Employee
Mark had six years of experience under his belt, all with the same company. He'd been an ace student at a top engineering school. When I tracked him down in Texas, I was happy to learn he was all I'd been told. He was a sharp designer with a knack for solving problems and getting designs in on time. It's rare to find a young guy like that before headhunters have already bounced him around two or three companies. The trip to meet my client company in Santa Clara, CA left him with eyes wide. This was where he wanted to live; he wanted to work for my client; and he couldn't wait to get back to Texas to pack. He accepted the offer immediately.

The Friday before Mark was to report for work with his new employer, my secretary announced he was on the phone. Headhunters hate getting that call from a candidate. It usually means one thing.

"I'm really sorry, Nick. I just don't know how to tell you this, but I guess I can't take the job. I really want it, but it isn't going to work."

"Mark, I don't get it. You were so ready to move. Is your boss trying to talk you out of leaving? Have they been making counteroffers you haven't told me about?"

"That's not it at all. I just haven't been able to go in and tell him I've got another offer."

I jumped out of my chair. "Say what!?"

Silence.

"Mark, are you telling me you never turned in your resignation?"

"That's what I'm telling you."

Two weeks later, Mark was in Santa Clara, happy at his new job. Since he'd accepted the offer for the new job, he'd been living under incredible stress. His career had blossomed under the tutelage of his first boss. Although Mark was ready to move on, he had no idea how to resign. So, I showed him.

If this had happened a couple of years earlier in my headhunting career, I would have lost the candidate. Rather than realize what was going on, I would have wasted everyone's time trying to rationally convince Mark to take the job. But the problem was purely emotional, and it was due to Mark's inexperience with resigning.

The lesson? Don't let your inexperience with "parting company" hinder your career. Over the years, I've met very talented people who passed up good opportunities for no other reason than because they didn't know how to say goodbye.

How To Resign
Too often, in the throes of trying to decide whether to accept a job offer, a person will start the resignation process too early. That is, he'll let his boss know he's thinking about leaving in an effort to get more input as he's working through the decision. He's looking for advice in the wrong place.

Unless you have a very rare boss who is more concerned about your future than about his own or the company's, don't do it. Regard any discussion about your "potential" resignation as tantamount to tendering it. Once you've let the cat out of the bag, it may be near impossible to put it back.

Word may get out among your co-workers, and it may affect their attitude about you. Your boss may view what you've divulged as an indication that you'll continue looking, even if you don't take this job. And, if you haven't yet made a decision, all that talk may lead you to make the wrong decision.

I'm a believer in getting advice and insight about a potential job change. But, I think it's dangerous to seek such advice from people whose own jobs and lives will be impacted by your decision. If you work in a very tight-knit organization of mature professionals who respect one another both personally and professionally, your experience will contradict what I'm suggesting. But most people don't work in such an environment. If you need advice, get it from a trusted cohort who preferably works in another company.

Which brings us to the rules of resigning.

Part 2: The Rules Of Resigning

			We welcome comments and suggestions. Please email to Ask The Headhunter.