Question
I am not surprised that a key employee quit on me. I did all I could do to retain him. I can’t fault him for taking a new job since we recently had some layoffs. I even told him I’d welcome him back if he ever wants to come back. I also told him, “If they pull the job offer letter or you change your mind, please let me know right away so I can stop the resignation process. If you get there and find out it’s just not the right job, please let me know and I will make every effort to hire you back.” I left the door open.
The offer is a higher raise than our company can give on its own, but we can often make a counteroffer that large. To do that my company requires that the letter of offer be presented to us for documentation. However, the new company required him to come in person to read the offer letter but would not let him take the offer letter with him until he signed it.
This for me is a giant red flag. Every job offer I have had is such that they let me have the letter of offer, usually by e-mail.
Bottom line: In most U.S. states employment is strictly “at will” so I have no problem with somebody resigning, backing out on an offer they accepted, or walking out. Companies don’t hesitate to let people go without notice. So what do you think about a company that won’t let you take the job offer letter with you?
Nick’s Reply
It seems like a small thing, but it’s a big deal. I think it’s a bad policy.
I’ve known employers that require a decision on the spot. Some employers will make only a verbal (or oral) offer but will not produce a written, signed offer until the candidate accepts orally. While I’ve also had client companies make offers on the spot, at the end of only one interview, it’s very rare.
Get the job offer letter
I advise against accepting a job offer on the spot, mainly because it’s too easy to make a poor decision without time to think it through — especially if you’re considering other opportunities.
I also insist a job offer letter must be delivered in writing, signed by a company official — because otherwise the commitment cannot be relied upon. And if an employer refuses to let you take the offer letter to forestall competition, that may mean they’re not competitive in other ways — so why would you want to work with them?
It’s not real if it isn’t in writing
I’ll share an analogy. We recently wanted to replace a lot of carpeting in our house. We belong to Costco so we decided to try them (that is, their carpeting contractor). The guy came over with loads of samples, measured every room, spent quite a while working up a detailed quote — well over an hour total. Nice guy. Showed us the quote and asked us to sign it as a legal work order. We’d never spend that much money without sleeping on it. He pressed us gently but realized we needed a day to consider.
He wrote the total number on a piece of paper and handed it to us. He would not leave the itemized quote.
We said goodbye and didn’t return any of his many calls because he wasted our time. We shopped the job and hired a contractor who was more confident and didn’t play games. It turned out to be the right choice.
Job offer letter and counter-offer
I think playing games with a work quote or a job offer letter is a stupid way to do business. If I were your key employee I would have told that company, “I don’t consider your offer bona fide if I can’t take it with me and think about it. It’s troubling that you seem not to have faith in your job offer. You should decide what you want to do next.”
I know very well that people try to leverage offers to get counter-offers. In fact, I’ve written extensively about why under most circumstances a person should not do that. It has nothing to do with ethics. It’s about knowing what you want.
Nonetheless, if I were this guy, I’d accept the offer. I assume at that point they’d let him have the written version. (If not, go back two paragraphs.) Assuming there is no other compelling reason to change employers, I’d bring the offer letter to you and if you matched or bettered it (in writing, of course!), then I’d rescind my acceptance and stay with you.
(For anyone that believes changing their mind after accepting a job offer is unethical, please refer to Should I renege because I got a better job offer?)
What would you do if an employer wouldn’t let you take a written job offer with you? Is a job offer real if it’s not in writing and actually given to you? How else might the employee in this episode deal with the situation?
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Wow. That’s not just a red flag, it’s a whole marching band and parade.
If I can’t show the contract to my lawyer, I don’t trust you.
I’d ask the prospective employer- if your company was considering entering into a contract with another company, would you sign if couldn’t have a copy – or even see the contract – under those conditions?
I noped out of sn interview when they said they couldn’t let me take my contract away to be looked at by a lawyer(didn’t tell them it was my dad’s friend) because “it’s our IP”
@Craig: Their IP?? I’ve seen employers claim a job offer is “confidential” (it’s not, unless you sign agreeing it is, and even then I’m not sure that’s legally defensible). And if you told them you wanted it so your lawyer could review is, then there’s a REAL problem.
Noping out was the wise thing, I think. Good for you for seeing this for what it is: a clueless employer.
I think your flooring contractor didn’t want someone else to have the benefit of his quantity take-off. On the one hand, I get it. On the other hand, that’s the only honest way to do business. Contractors bid on projects all the time. Perhaps he should have charged an hour of his time to pprepare the estimate.
On the main topic: if I don’t have a written offer, I don’t have anything to think about.
@Mike L: Not to make this about my carpet experience, but you’ve further validated my analogy :-). Would you expect a job candidate to charge for their time to do a job interview and to prepare a custom
resume?
I actually wrote an article about this. And I agree: No written offer, nothing to think about.
I would expect a more granular level of detail from an estimate I paid for.
The contractor knows full well that I can pick and choose with their competition. That’s a bummer. However, if you’re providing a genuinely well thought out project at a fair price, you’ll win most jobs. Flooring Contractor A knew this. Their actions told you all you needed to know.
A job seeker should definitely provide the services you listed freely. The problem comes from employers who have multiple crazy tests or want to scam free consulting. You’ve written a lot about that, too. :) I’ve been reading you a while. :)
@Nick – very surprised by your penultimate paragraph… if the employee decided to change companies, there’s shouldn’t be a turning back (as you say it’s about knowing what one wants).
When I had that case and my then current manager asked about compensation matching, I say no thank you and still told him about the new company’s compensation.
@Pedro: I agree with your personal policy. If you’re going to look for a new job, decide up front that you’re doing it for reasons above and beyond money. If it’s just more money you want, go work it out with your boss before you start looking.
In this case, the new employer created a situation that made a counter-offer more attractive because the current manager is clearly willing to have the person stay.
One of the main reasons to not seek a counter-offer is because it marks you as disloyal and puts you at risk.
@Nick: As a manager, I know employment at will means my people can leave – after all, our company recently had some layoffs. In my company, even the person’s manager doesn’t know what’s going to happen – they are ushered into a room and someone reads a script and they can’t deviate. Then they are quickly taken to their desk – security is there the whole time as well. The person is shown the door and that’s it.
So no, I don’t see it as disloyal if an employee wants to leave or changes their mind. If employers start treating people like human beings, then maybe I might start expecting loyalty. We are talking about peoples’ livelihoods. What I do look for is integrity in a person’s work.
@Nick Of course I had discussed with my manager several months before that I was unhappy with my compensation even though he had (so he said) given me the highest % raise in the team the previous year but I was thinking in absolute values and confident that I was worth considerably more in the market and I was right ;-)
As a global HR leader, I find this situation incredibly troubling, not just because of the red flags surrounding the withholding of a written offer, but because it reflects a broader issue of control over trust in some hiring practices.
Let’s be clear: withholding an offer letter until a candidate signs is not standard, and it undermines trust from the start. Job offers, like any professional agreement, should be transparent, reviewable, and free of pressure. If a company is confident in its offer — and its culture — it should have no problem letting a candidate walk away with the offer letter, take time to consider it, and come back with clarity.
More concerning, however, is the power dynamic this approach creates. It says, “We don’t trust you enough to let you think.” But good people — the kind of talent we all want to attract and retain in our companies — don’t respond well to coercion. They respond to integrity.
To the original poster here: your instincts are spot on. You handled the resignation of your employee with grace, left the door open, and respected your employee’s decision. That’s excellent leadership. If the employee ultimately decides the new company isn’t a fit, it won’t be because of the money — it’ll be because of how they were treated. Culture always wins.
To my fellow HR professionals and hiring managers: We must raise the standard. Candidates are evaluating us just as much as we’re evaluating them. If we want to attract high-integrity talent, we must demonstrate high-integrity practices throughout.
Let’s stop playing games and start treating job offers like what they are: the beginning of a working relationship/partnership. And relationships are built on mutual trust, not ultimatums….
Maybe it’s an American thing, but I’ve been given or sent all my contracts in 2 different European countries (many of them with American multinationals) and have never heard of such a practice of withholding a contract until it’s signed… ?!?!
That’s an entirely fair observation, Pedro — and you’re right to find it surprising. Employment practices differ significantly between the U.S. and Europe. In the U.S., it’s common to issue offer letters under “employment at will” terms, where either party can end the relationship at any given time.
In contrast, many European countries require a signed employment contract or agreement, which is more formal, before work begins, with strong employee protections and rights embedded into employment law. This creates a more transparent and employee-friendly approach — one that you’re rightly accustomed to.
That said, irrespective of these jurisdictional differences, it’s not considered good practice to withhold contractual documents or offer letters until a signature is received. Transparency and trust are fundamental to any employment relationship (“at will” or not), and providing the paperwork or contract in advance is crucial for enabling informed decision-making.
Absolutely Demina
And here in Switzerland we’re very close to the US “at will” version, where either party can end the contract at their will, just having to respect the minimum legal prior notice (unless longer terms have been agreed) of 1 week during the 3 months trial period, 1 month during the 1st year of service, 2 months during the 2nd to 9th years of service and 3 months after 10 years of service, that’s it ;-)
This is worth reading, written by an attorney buddy of mine:
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/14762/employment-contracts