Question
I have not been back to your forum in about a year or more, since you advised me to move on after I lost my job as a manager with a utility company after over 17 years. At that time I was very unhappy, depressed, and told you I wanted to go back. (They had offered me a job in the same company doing things I did ten years before.) You said, “Move on. Take your skills and give them to people who care.”
Well, I went to work for a general contracting company as a project manager. At that time I could not see past my own self-pity and thought I had made the worst move of my life. I must say it was the best move I ever made.
When I started, I knew nothing. But if you believe in yourself you can accomplish great things. Now I run multi-million dollar projects and I am a player within the group, providing advice and input. What I am saying is that this small company appreciates my efforts more than any large corporation would. I make more money then I ever did (40% more) and enjoy the true meaning of the free enterprise system (what it takes to make a dollar and hold onto it).
One final thing I would like to say to people is, believe in yourself. There are great small companies out there that will appreciate you more than a corporation. Don’t be afraid. Risks take people to new levels of who they are and what they can do and learn. Complacency breeds death in a person.
(People in my old company are still dying — it’s the golden handcuffs that keep them there). No matter who you work for, set realistic goals for what you want to accomplish. Evaluate the time you’ve spent and money you’ve earned. And if your employer can’t see your drive or contributions, then someone else will.
Thanks again, Nick! Life is great again, as it should be, for it’s too short.
Nick’s Reply
You just made my day. I love success stories, and yours is a special one. It’s the kind that teaches others they can change their lives, even when they’ve reached the end of their rope. I hope others take heart from your experience, and that they pause to remember that change requires risk.
Change is difficult, and the first step seems impossibly high, especially when you’ve got 17 years of history with a company tied around your ankles. It’s hard to move. I congratulate you, and I am very happy for you. You’re welcome. If anything I said helped you make the change you needed to, I’m glad.
Your story comprises both the Q and the A in this column. All I’d like to add is a little more perspective, in the form of two sage quotations that help keep me sane. I keep them taped to my computer display. One is from Marcus Aurelius: “The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.”
The other is from Henri Amiel: “To be always ready, a man must be able to cut a knot, for everything cannot be untied.”
See the truth, and act. We all learn it from someone. If I can ask you for a favor in return, it’s this: When you next encounter someone who is down and out and needs encouragement and support, do what you can to help. Because the help only goes around when people make it go around.
I wish you all the best and I thank you for sharing your story.
NOTE: I frequently receive questions from people who’ve been fired and who have trouble moving on. Sometimes what’s better than my advice is a real-life story from someone that experienced it. This column is reprinted from Parting Company: How to leave your job (pp. 36-37).
How have you coped with getting fired? Did your career recover, or did you thrive as a result of the change forced on you? What advice (or cautions) can you offer others who’ve been fired? (Or has your problem been the opposite: shackled to your job with “golden handcuffs?”)
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Nick, thanks for sharing this testimony, and also for sharing/spreading wisdom.
I have been following your blog for over 10 years now and seen my attitude changing along the way. I have been able to negotiate pretty hard the terms of my contracts within corporate banking, and despite being employed at less then middle management level. But that has also been my choice, which, paradoxically, gives me more freedom, albeit less money. I am nearly 50 and a woman, and counting the months to pay my mortgage back, before I allow myself to take yet another risk in my life and move away from international corporate BS, to perhaps move into a smaller one, but to do something that I enjoy more for a living. I actually don’t mind big changes, but feel that yous posts have emboldened me, or empowered might be a better word, throughout the years, besides giving more confidence on top of the trust I have always had in my gut.
@Malgorzata: Thanks for your kind words – glad you are pushing the envelope! Nice work!
Four years ago I was laid off. I put time and money to complete the upskilling I started three months before the layoffs (at the company’s expense, thank you very much). My wife, who is much better with money than I am, was not happy with the expense.
I landed a three-year contract. Due, in part, to the upskilling. It was a solid move.
I was able to get a fourth year out of the contract. Have budgeted the same amount (with my wife’s full agreement) for more upskilling, and am hitting the bricks again.
Every time I have been booted out of a job, I have landed on my feet. Sometimes there has been a temporary setback, but I have always gained in skills and compensation.
Sometimes I need a kick in the pants. Also, being married to a sensible woman who knows the value of living within our means softens that kick (a tennis shoe instead of a boot).
@Gregory: This is called managing your career, which is the alternative to rifling through the job postings. My compliments.
On one hand, I like this story. We all should. It’s the warm and fuzzy stuff we crave in these uncertain times.
On the other hand, OP buried the lead. OP admitted to having no experience. How did they (as Nick teaches) demonstrate the ability to do the job? How did they (as Nick also teaches) build a business plan for the role? How did they convince a hiring manager to take a chance? These are the questions that would make a complete story. Right now, all we have is a single anecdote.
With my current job, I have about 12 months before my finances recover from my last trip in the unemployment line, and just in time for things to start getting terrible again. The prior trips, I didn’t recover. They all involved pay cuts in worse conditions.
@Hopeless: I can’t speak for the OP. It would be nice to know more. I just like how he pushed through his discouragement and the learning he had to do.
But you asked an important question. This should be helpful, or at least explain my view:
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/7280/stand-out-how-to-be-the-profitable-hire
As a global HR leader, I’ve seen firsthand how losing a job—especially after many years of loyal service—can feel like a devastating rupture in one’s identity. But this story reminded me why I always say that some endings are really just disguised reintroductions to who we’re meant to become.
What struck me most is not just the success of the career pivot but its emotional honesty. The author didn’t gloss over the grief, fear, or moment of self-doubt. They owned the reality that change feels like freefall before it feels like freedom. And that’s where transformation begins.
In my work, I always encourage people to ask:
“What if this isn’t rejection… but redirection?”
There are organizations out there — often smaller, more agile ones — that don’t just value your skills; they see you. They recognize that someone who’s been through the fire usually brings more clarity, humility, and drive than someone who’s coasted through a career untested.
As someone who has led redundancies myself, I’ve always tried to approach those conversations not just as a company executive — but as a fellow human being. I believe deeply in helping people see that redundancy is never a definition of their worth—it is a moment of redirection, not destiny. And when someone walks away with their dignity intact, it makes all the difference.
To those still reeling from being let go:
You are not your job title. You are not your severance letter.
You are your resilience. Your reinvention. Your determination and courage. Your refusal to let one chapter define your whole story.
Thank you, Nick, for always encouraging people to move toward the light, even when all they can see is the door closing behind them.
To anyone reading this who’s at that painful crossroad — please trust this: life after can be even better than life before. Sometimes, the ground we’re forced to walk away from is the very thing that leads us back to ourselves.
@Demina: That can be a very hard thing for many people to grasp and trust. All I can say is, it happened to me several times. Perspective is the single biggest factor in the outcome of a huge change in life. For anyone reading this, please take Demina’s comments to heart. Might sound corny or preachy (sorry, Demina!) but it’s nonetheless true. You must move forward and leave the past behind. Trust in your ability to learn, change, survive and thrive. There are so many books about many ways to find yourself and trust the universe has your back. Yah, it sounds feel-goody, but it can be real if you take it seriously. One book I’ve relied on again and again: Thich Nhat Hanh’s collection of wisdom:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1590309367/asktheheadhunte