Question
Nick, in various networking sessions we are told that maintaining a positive attitude is the most important thing that we can do when trying to land a job. This is easier said than done for many of us. We can read positive thinking books and things like that. But what do you feel are the most important things that we can do to have a consistent positive attitude? I appreciate your help.
Nick’s Reply
I know it’s very hard to be positive when the media blast us with bad news about the employment market. And it’s discouraging when every time you apply for a job you get a rejection or, worse, you are ghosted. You’re right: Much of this is about attitude. But attitude alone won’t land a job, so I get tired of hearing that kind of advice as much as you do. The abysmal performance of online job boards and automated recruiting won’t change just because you try to feel better about it!
To land a job fix your behavior!
Behavior can be far more important than what a person is thinking. Some of the best research in psychology tells us that “thinking positive” won’t make us behave in more productive ways.
The research actually reveals that changing our behavior is more likely to improve our attitudes, than the other way around.
That is, even if you don’t feel like it (because you’re down and miserable), change your behavior anyway. Force yourself. Or your attitude isn’t likely to change. So, learn how to behave!
Positive thoughts don’t make job boards work better
I know that sounds harsh. But it’s true. Consider the classic job hunter, sitting before a computer screen all day, searching for jobs. You simply have no control because “submitting applications” behavior doesn’t work, and your misery grows.
You can follow the conventional advice to try and talk yourself into feeling “up” while submitting all those job applications, but feelings don’t control the job boards or make them work better!
So, what can you control? Start practicing behaviors that get you closer to the leading source of jobs — personal contacts. (One of my favorite reports about this is from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.) I know it’s hard to make this switch, mainly because of the “ease” of using the job boards.
Change behavior to feel positive – and to land a job!
How can you meet more people connected to the businesses you want to work for? Where do they hang out? What can you say to them? I’ve offered specific suggestions in these columns, so I won’t repeat myself. (For some helpful tips on what to say to “insiders” when you find them, please see this brief article: Interview Me: How to Say It.)
But sometimes, the best ideas come from yourself. Get a piece of paper. Forget about finding a job. Make a list of where you can go (online and in real life) to meet people connected to companies you want to work for. (I like doing this on paper because you can keep it in front of you no matter what else you’re doing.)
Then change your behavior: Go there and talk to them.
Relying on job boards is bad behavior. I think you will find that being with people who do the work you want to do is the best behavior you can engage in when you need to land a job. Talking with them about their work, their employer, about who in the business they like and respect — these are behaviors that will quickly trigger a positive attitude. And your attitude will get even better when your new buddies introduce you to other real, live humans who share your interests — and who can introduce you to your next job.
Does trolling the job boards and applying for hundreds of jobs give you a positive attitude? Is it good behavior? If the job boards get you depressed, how does that affect your job search? What do you think are the best behaviors and attitudes for a successful job search?
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NOTE: There was no newsletter or Q&A column last week due to the onslaught of multiple snow and ice storms in the northeast. Newsletter production was supplanted by 15 hours spent digging out!
This edition is in memory of Bob Stomber, my friend and a founder of the Career Forum job-search group at the Somerset Hills YMCA in New Jersey. Bob was a generous man; generous with his time and knowledge, in his judgments of others, and with his good advice. He put a lot into the Forum purely as a volunteer who never expected anything in return except perhaps friendship. Bob touched a lot of lives and made a real difference to them. I did many presentations to the group at his request and I always enjoyed working with him. Bob was pure class in every way.
Regardless of how the job seeker does it, being positive and upbeat when we finally talk to a human is key (this also applies when we get a call that we did not get the role). Nobody stands out as a preferred candidate if they are dislikeable.
One of my favorite articles in “Harvard Business Review” is the one about people preferring to work with likeable incompetents over competent jerks.
“We found that if someone is strongly disliked, it’s almost irrelevant whether or not she is competent; people won’t want to work with her anyway. By contrast, if someone is liked, his colleagues will seek out every little bit of competence he has to offer. And this tendency didn’t exist only in extreme cases; it was true across the board. Generally speaking, a little extra likability goes a longer way than a little extra competence in making someone desirable to work with.”
https://hbr.org/2005/06/competent-jerks-lovable-fools-and-the-formation-of-social-networks
Career Groups like the one your friend Bob Stomber founded are a great way to network and stay positive, and are sponsored by many organizations. I am sure he will be missed and we send our thoughts to you Nick and all of his extended family.
2017 is not 2025! What worked in 2017 when it was a job seeker market will not work now. The below sounds snotty and condescending; if someone sent this verbiage, I would be pissed. Needs to be re-worded to get the hiring manager to actually talk to you!
Interview Me” from 2017
How to Say It:
“Hi, I’m Bill, a seasoned pro in [your field]. I’m interested in working for your company because it’s a shining light in our industry. But I’m puzzled by something. As a very busy [programmer, marketer, whatever] I don’t have time to waste with impersonal cattle-calls and online job forms, so I’m surprised your company is advertising rather than recruiting only the right people thoughtfully. I select potential employers very carefully. I’m ready to meet with your [marketing manager] to show how I can do the job to bring more profit to your bottom line.
“If you’re serious about hiring great [marketers] who know enough about your biz to have a working meeting with a hiring manager, I’d love to get together — but please, no personnel screeners who aren’t experts in [marketing]. There is indeed a talent shortage, and the talent doesn’t waste time on bureaucratic processes. I want to talk shop with someone at your company who’s qualified to talk shop with me. I’d be happy to fill out your forms later, if there’s a match. But I hope you respect my time and intelligence as much as I respect yours. If you want to talk with the best [marketers, etc.], interview me and I’ll interview you.”
@Kelly: I didn’t say this is an easy approach. Please read the lengthy discussion on the article I linked to above. Whether it’s 2017 or 2025 or 2010, if you don’t prep yourself to have a call like that with a hiring manager, do you really belong in a job interview? This is about standing out. More important, it’s about finding managers who are not stuck talking about “what animal would you be if you could be any animal?” It’s up to the job seeker to raise the standards of discussion. Sure, lots of managers will be shocked. But lots of managers just throw out your application if HR didn’t do that first.
Breaking the paradigm is the only way to make anything happen and to have any control. We discuss many ways to do that all over this website. While I didn’t say it in this column, I usually suggest each job seeker tweak and change a How to Say It tip to suit their style. Never just parrot anything that I or anyone else suggests! I stand corrected on that!
I understand your trepidation. But please consider: Do the job boards and ATSes you rely on today work any better than those you relied on in 2017?
Totally agree, but you are not going to get an interview by writing the hiring manager and chastising his company for advertising jobs.
I can’t respond to the OP question directly as I have never had a problem getting a job when experience and job tenure were an issue. Those time were a great help;l to me. I am thankful to the mentallly impared who did not oppose my risei in the forporate world.