Question
While reviewing a handful of questions from readers about “when is it okay to lie a little bit” and “is it lying if I say…” and “so many people I know get away with lying about salary history,” I turned to my good buddy Matt Bud, Chairman of The Financial Executives Networking Group. His insights and advice about lying are so good that I’m making him the “guest voice” in this week’s column.
Matt’s 30,000+ members at The FENG all work in finance, but I think Matt’s comments apply equally well no matter what kind of work one does. – Nick
Matt Bud’s Reply
Despite all the financial scandals that we have seen over the years, most of us financial types by our nature have a hard time lying. For the most part, it just isn’t part of our DNA.
While we may be burdened with many secrets of the organization such as payroll, we get around the questions of others on these topics with silence or a cold glare. (They should know better than to ask us about such matters.)
When it comes to job search, we get asked a lot of questions that we would prefer not to answer. The problem is if you don’t answer you won’t be considered for a golden (or perhaps silver or brass) opportunity. Such questions such as why you left your last job and your compensation history or requirements sort of top the list.
Rather than lying, be brief
One thought to keep in mind is the stage of your discussion with the other party. While I would never recommend actually lying about any aspect of your career, the goal to keep at the top of your thinking is your purpose. And, your purpose is to get an interview.
On the topic of why you left your last job, the shorter the better is the right answer. Put a clock on it. Allot 30 seconds. The 30 second version needs to be so good that if someone ever heard the whole story there would be no contradictions. The big surprise is that no one really needs to know the whole story or actually wants to hear it.
When they ask about salary, ask about salary!
Compensation questions come up all the time. What could be a more appropriate screening device than to know that you were earning twice what the job will pay? On the other hand, the client may be willing to pay more and/or you might be willing to take less. The parties will never know if you get eliminated too early.
The truth is that many folks don’t pick up on questions that are answered with a question. For example, if you are asked for your salary history or compensation target and you don’t know what the job pays, ask. It is a fair question to ask for the salary range. If you know the salary range of the job, you are being foolish if you suggest your requirements are more than 25% more. “The salary range posted for the job is certainly something I would consider.” is an appropriate response. That doesn’t mean you will accept it, but it is truthful to say you will consider it.
The problem still remains that you have to sound convincing. If you have your heart set on an outrageous salary level, so be it, but you will get very few interviews. You have a product (you) that can’t be sold over the phone. Without a personal interview you will never have the opportunity to sell your wares.
Avoid lying — stay out of trouble
You need to practice your “gut” responses so they sound truthful. You may even have to convince yourself that they are. (Have an argument with yourself some time and see if you win.)
Us financial types are just not good at lying. Others can hear it in your voice and if you are presenting in person, they can read it on your face. Don’t let them see you sweat. Practice your responses to all difficult questions until you know the “right” answer, and be sure it is one that won’t get you into trouble later.
Hopefully it will be truthful, and yet will get you into consideration for all those great jobs about which you are getting called.
Has lying worked for you on the job hunt? Has it ever gotten you into trouble? Is there a line between lies and “white lies?” Does an employer lying to you justify lying right back?
Since 1996 Matt Bud has served as Chairman of The Financial Executives Networking Group (TheFENG), an organization dedicated to providing senior level financial executives with a forum to share job opportunities and experiences. With a membership of over 30,000, The FENG is the world’s largest networking group of CFO’s, Controllers, and Treasurers. Matt’s reply is copyright (c) 2024 Matt Budd and used with his gracious permission.
SUMMER VACATION! The next edition of Ask The Headhunter will be September 4, right after Labor Day. I’m taking a couple of weeks off to stick my toes in the sand, to ruminate on the meaning of clouds and to count the water in the ocean. I hope you’re doing something fun for summer!
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The fundamental problem is H R always lies. I have NEVER met.a solitary one who did not lie.
Lying in the corporate world is ubiquitous and contributes to the underlying condition of quickly fading business ethics. It begins in the C Suite and rolls on down in too many companies, because shareholders demand profits (which, to paraphrase, is why companies exist according to ‘old world’ economist Milton Friedman). However, far too many people are ambitious beyond their capabilities and will try to game the system and/or lie to get ahead, whether it is lying to a boss, colleague, or a client. Sadly, sometimes it works for people that think it’s okay to operate in this way but, it often does catch up to them. When it doesn’t seem to have consequences, one can only hope that karma is a real thing; no one should be rewarded for dishonesty.
Even ‘little white lies’ are just as deceitful and duplicitous as ‘big lies’ and is also inappropriate because it, too, eventually breaks down trust in a business relationship (personal relationships, too). I’m not coming from a moral or religious point-of-view about lying, but rather, from an operational view. I have hired (and fired) many people over my career and honesty is one of the very most important attributes I look for in an employee. If I cannot trust someone, they do not get hired.
I know lying is done all the time, but it doesn’t make for a good career strategy. Many people that were at the top of their careers end up being shot down for being found out. Is it ultimately worth it? I think not.
Matt, your suggestion about, ‘practice your gut responses so they sound truthful’ seems like you are encouraging people to become better at lying, which is counterproductive and inimical to creating better corporate ethos and, better corporate growth and sustainability. There truly needs to be a resurgence in adopting more honest business values, practices, and ethics across the entire corporate world. I’m not lying.
@David: I agree that it’s a slippery slope best avoided as a matter of habit. I also agree that signals (and standards) regarding ethics start at the top. It doesn’t take much to see where a company stands on the ethics scale. Companies and managers that use honesty as a hiring metric do better than those that don’t. Honesty matters.
Hi Nick,
Indeed. After a decade+ at a Wall Street firm, I saw the worst of dishonesty day in and day out. I cannot, however, group every individual into that category, as there were actually some people that cared about business ethics. Sadly though, these people generally got run over, but they at least tried to play fair. It’s a rough place.
Please keep up the excellent work you do – you’re one of the few gems out there!
Best regards,
David
Thanks for your kind words, David!
The German for white lie is “emergency/distress lie” which says a lot about their culture.
What is your advice when you discover that your employer / manager / etc is a liar?
Flee. Your life will become an unmitigated hell if your “leadership” is unethical.
There is no legitimate good reason to lie, ever.
@Wes:
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/5081/my-boss-is-a-liar
H R always lies.
Dear David,
Thank you for your very thoughtful reaction to my editorial. I was not actually suggesting that anyone tell a “real” lie.
When people lose their jobs, they always feel guilty about it. They always feel that there was something they could have done to prevent it. And what makes matters worse, they are rarely told the “real” truth about why they are being let go. Their reaction is to make up a very long story about why it happened that no one needs to hear.
By telling your story to someone you trust, they can help you reframe the response. As an example, let’s assume the company downsized or your boss got fired. These are very simple situations that most folks make much too complicated.
The story I suggest people tell I jokingly refer to as “the truth, as retold by Matt Bud.”
The “real” story is the company downsized, your boss was fired and the new boss wanted his/her own person, or the company moved to a location that would have disrupted your life. These revised stories are not lies in the sense you address above. They are as close to absolute truths as anything gets.
Hope this clarifies my thinking.
Regards, Matt Bud
Dear Matt,
Thank you for both the reply and the clarity. You’ve cleared up my earlier misinterpretation – my fault.
I hope that you continue to spread your message at every opportunity because too many companies and employees could use a reminder that, honesty really is the best policy.
Best regards,
David Boyer
Lying is evil and should be rejected and avoided, ALWAYS.
However, there are right and wrong ways to tell the truth.
“Brutal honesty” is more brutal and cruel than honest. It’s also evil and to be avoided.
But it is always right to speak the truth in love. And while love [compassion, mercy, kindness, justice are all synonyms for love in this sense] has very little to do with the modern business world (much to the detriment of everyone on the planet), the concept still applies.
Think about it this way: Imagine you have to tell a 5-year-old child, Susie, that her beloved grandfather, Grandpa Jack, has died.
Far too many people would default to a series of lies, like, “Oh, Susie, it’s ok, don’t cry, Grandpa Jack has just gone to sleep for a long time! There’s nothing to worry about! Everything is ok! Now go play!” or even *worse*, “Grandpa Jack has gone on a long trip to visit Jesus in heaven, and we need to be happy for him, and you need to be a very good girl and not cry or misbehave because if you are good enough, then someday you can go visit Grandpa Jack and Jesus in heaven, too, but only if you are REALLY good all the time! So stop crying and go wash your face and don’t get your nice dress dirty before the funeral!”
I think [hope!!?!] we can all agree that those are heinous things to tell a child. But there are also an infinite number of ways to tell that TRUTH to that child.
So consider these options for the truth:
1. “Susan McDonald, I regret to inform you that Jack McDonald, your grandfather, died at 10:30 am today.
2. “Susie, sweetheart, remember how we talked about how sick Grandpa Jack was? And remember how hard the doctors were trying to help him get better? I’m very sad and sorry to tell you this, but even though Grandpa Jack wanted to get better and the doctors did their best, he was just too sick, and his body stopped working, and he has died this morning. That means you won’t be able to play with him or talk to him or hug him anymore. But you can always feel his love for you and remember all the fun things you used to do with him, and we can look at pictures of him and talk about him and feel sad that his body died, but also feel happy that the love we shared with him will never die as long as we remember it. I know this is very sad and scary, and it’s ok for us to all be sad and scared together. And I will do my best to help you remember Grandpa Jack’s love and to help you feel better when you’re scared and sad and miss him, and I will always tell you the truth when you have questions about all of these sad, scary things that are happening right now. Here’s some kleenex and let me hug you while you cry.”
Obviously, no decent human being would ever choose the first option for little Susie.
But what if Susie were 36 years old, and an attorney, and Administrator and Executrix of her grandfather’s estate, but she lived thousands of miles away and hadn’t seen him in a few years? Then, the first option might be completely appropriate, while the second option would be completely wrong, confusing, and offensive!
************TL; DR************
All of that to say, everyone should ALWAYS tell the truth, but it must also be told in a way that is APPROPRIATE to the context and the audience.
And human beings are not generally good at thinking clearly about how to express emotionally charged truths when put on the spot, so it is wise to think carefully about the most appropriate way to communicate an emotionally difficult truth in various contexts to different audiences so you don’t create unnecessary pain and problems due to thoughtlessness and panic in the moment.
Which is what I understood Mr. Bud to be saying when he mentioned “rehearsing” how you wanted to communicate the truth beforehand. It absolutely has nothing to do with creating a lie, and everything to do with being PREPARED to give the best truthful answer in the most appropriate way.
Wow, this is outrageous: https://www.sfgate.com/tech/article/california-tech-companies-laid-off-table-scraps-19723851.php
At the time, Creely and a few other recruiters were following organizations that were conducting layoffs in the hopes of finding potential new software developers. So, when Meta started handing pink slips to thousands of workers that year, a recruiter brought it up in the private Slack channel, pointing out the opportunity. Suddenly, the company’s chief human resources officer interjected, telling them to avoid hiring these former Meta employees because they were “somebody else’s table scraps” that had been discarded, Creely said.
So what are job seekers expected to do? Claim they are still working at the organization they were laid off from.