Discussion: November 24, 2009 Ask The Headhunter Newsletter

A reader asks:

Calling people up to make new contacts is awkward for me, but I’m doing it anyway. I know I have to use each contact to build my network — to ask for more introductions. How do you say it? How do you ask to meet the other people in someone’s network?

How to Say It: People have a hard time with this because they think asking for new contacts is awkward. But it’s the most natural thing in the world if you keep it conversational.

I offered my suggestion about how to do this effectively… in this week’s newsletter. Now I’m asking you, What’s a good way to ask someone to let you into their network? How do you ask to meet their contacts?

(I’ll post my suggestion about How to Say It a bit later… But in the meantime, I want to encourage blog readers who don’t subscribe to the newsletter to please sign up — it’s free!)


  1. “Why do you want to know the other person?” That’s the heart of the question and really depending on how well you can answer that, that’ll determine if you get to the next round. If you want to meet this person to talk shop then you may have a chance,e.g. let’s do lunch or meet for a drink after work, while being selfish at the beginning isn’t likely to go over well. I suppose if you’re in a group of Narcissists or Hedonists it might work, I don’t think most of the world works that way.

  2. Unless a complete loser, (then forget all of what follows,) if either introduced to the person or happen to be well known by someone that the person is tight with, I would just ask straight out “I want to join your circle,” it rarely fails. Confidence is a powerful thing, with me and to those I know. A weak begging question is not my style, and would be an instant NO both ways in my world.

  3. Hey! You guys are jumping the gun… ;-) The newsletter isn’t even OUT yet!

    (But thanks for diving in early…)

  4. The best way I’ve found to get included in a certain circle is to find out what professional associations they belong to and join. Then volunteer to help out with the next event. Or whatever group activity they may engage in such as a charity event or industry forum online.